We've all been there. That terrifying moment when someone pulls out their cell phone and wants to take a group photo. I typically hide behind everyone and just poke my head out or if Im lucky they hand me the phone to take the selfie (SCORE! Now I can control how I look!)
I hate getting my picture taken. I feel like I always look awkward or large. Ugh, I hate it when I look large in photos. I try to take selfies and selfies only in large groups.
But, that's where boudoir changed my world. I was asked to model for some sessions. I knew I needed to step in front of the camera again. I didn't have a perfect body, just my regular old size 14 self.
I was terrified. It's a 100% natural feeling when stepping in front of a camera. You instantly think, how the hell do I look sexy?
You will start to second guess all your outfit decisions, become clumsy with your words, and of course the sweat. Yup, the nerves kick in and if you're anything like me, you'll sweat. That nerves instantly vanished as soon as hair and makeup were done. I was like, damn. I am kind of a babe.
Then you get dressed. The nerves turn to butterflies now and your stomach is full of them!! Holy shit. Am I actually about to get half naked in front of a stranger?! Yup, its happening there's a camera pointing at me. And then it happened...
I started to giggle. Wait, am I actually having fun? Wait! THATS ME ON THE BACK OF THE CAMERA! Stop. I'M SO HOT! Okay, let's take more!!
This is how almost all of my sessions go. You will be nervous. You might not be at your goal weight or have perfect skin that day. You might be learning to love your new mom bod and haven't figured out how to be sexy. DON'T WORRY! You just need to relax and let me take control. I know how to pose you. I'll teach you everything you need to know from your tip toes to your finger tips and your lips even.
I modeled for Teri Hofford in NYC and that was another life changer. She laughed with me, we ate tacos (you all know how much I love tacos!) and I instantly fell in love with everything she stood for! After our session I felt powerful. Completely untouchable and on top of the world. I no longer felt alone and unhappy with my body. I could see the rolls and imperfections but for the first time ever, I could see me and what made me beautiful.
"Our bodies are literally just meat bags carrying us around"
I started dying laughing at what she had just said. And ya know what... it's true. At the end of the day my meat bag is just getting me around town to get some tacos and that makes me happy. Spending the day shooting with her changed my life. She was honest and real with me. She didn't sugar coat anything and was getting me to laugh. I appreciated that.
I fell in love with boudoirs because of how I felt after mine and how I am able to make women feel. I hold those same magic powers and I'm able to show them their true honest beauty.
I could be that person to change your life and show you that you are beautiful NOW! Just how you are. Embracing all of you. I hear too often, that I have to hit my goal weight... that I need to lose another 30 pounds... that maybe when I love myself more I’ll be able to do this.
But what if this is the start of your journey? What if this is what makes you see your true beauty and helps you chase that dream or goal? What if this is the start we always needed to help push us and show us that we deserve to be loved and that time spent is not about perfection but progress. Maybe this is the start of your journey, not the end.
What if this is step one in learning to love yourself?
I know it is. I've seen what boudoir can do. I’ve worked with all different kinds of men and women and I have seen it all. I just want you to know that I've been in your shoes. I've felt the terrifying self doubt. We are all beautiful.
When you're ready to see it, let me know. I'd love to help capture your story.
Till next time.
p.s. If you've done a boudoir with me (or with another awesome photographer!) and feel like it's changed your life, leave a comment below. I'd love to know how it has impacted you.
More images by the amazing Teri Hofford 👇🏻